if looks could kill

On page 76 of Jude Deveraux's A Knight in Shining Armor, you will read this gem of a thought from the story's protagonist:

As she looked in the mirror, she thought that if all women had to confront the world with the face God gave them, there would be a great increase in female suicides.

With the growing gender demographic imbalance in China and all that it portends for a global surplus of men and a shortage of women to marry, it's good to know that Cover Girl and Revlon are doing their part to keep so many ladies away from the precipice of death. Um, better to love the face God gave you than wind up like this:

tradeoffs

Things people would never think to tell you but that you should nevertheless know about DC/VA/the eastern seaboard before you'd consider trading in your life in CA:

1. Chesapeake Bay is not the Pacific Ocean. And forget nightswimming anywhere, because all the "beaches" I can find close at dusk, or 5:30pm, whichever comes first. With all due respect for the town of North Beach, MD, you have the worst excuse for a beach I have ever ever seen. 30 yards of roped off slimy waters that never come higher than my hipbones, a rank odor, and jellyfish to boot. And I paid $8 for the privilege. Note Em's face below - though it was in specific response to the Wash Pot Style Fat Back Hard Cracklins, I think it encapsulates the way North Beach made us feel inside.

2. The sound you hear outside is cicadas. The drone is constant in the summer. No, it is not bats, like the Motel 6 front desk lady in Mississippi suspected. It is also not the powerlines like the guy at the buffet thought. It's cicadas. These are cicadas:

3. Donuts are as rare as good Mexican food, or Pinkberry. Yes, Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Kreme are available, but the donuts there are pretty bad. The reality of a mom 'n pop donut shop on every street corner in LA is but a dream here. Efforts to satisfy my withdrawals in NY this weekend were met with dismal results: the Doughtnut Plant was closed for employee-vacation-week (suck it), two other normal donut places were incorrectly addressed in Urban Spoon, and the donut I did wind up finding in some tiny deli en route to our DC-bound bus was easily the driest, crappiest donut I've ever, ever eaten. So: SMC and I found a family-owned donut place at the southern edge of Alexandria, 10 miles from my house (let me remind you that this is like traveling to Hollywood from West LA in 5:45pm traffic just for this trivial pleasure). We drove there this afternoon and ran - yes, ran - inside, only to find that all of their deliciously-labeled donut bins were empty. They make donuts but once a day, and all the donuts save three were gone. We bought those three. We'll be returning next Tuesday morning when the doors open.

[enjoying WenDy's Donuts after a night swim. sigh.]

4. The Metro here costs $6ish/day to get to and from school. And people drive idiotically. That said, at least I can read on the bus, and as I walk to school. I have been pumping through books, which keeps me happy (the book list is about the only thing I'm managing to update regularly here).

But:

the trees are beautiful, the frozen custard is good, and law school is interesting, so all is well enough. No regrets.

what a long, strange trip it's been

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August. I've arrived in Virginia. More to come.

no longer "good society"

This has been July:

I generally want to vomit, I'm so delighted with it all.

just called to say hello.

I'll be returning from my inadvertent hiatus very soon. In the meantime, random news from the last month, in the order that the pictures loaded:

Chipotle opened on the Promenade! So happy.

My little sister is getting married in two days (we are eating 4 pieces of Sweet Lady Jane's cake and 2 filled churros to celebrate in advance).

Kat and I went out of the country for my birthday, as we are wont to do.
We found many goats, and I was glad.
We had a Communist Cupcake Bake Sale - heir to the Communist Party, if you will.

and, I am moving to Washington, DC to attend law school in the fall.

More soon.

things that last

December 2007:

June 2010:

Life is curious.

food storage 101

1. One of my favorite things to do when I'm traveling is grocery shopping. Ask my friends about my giant bag full of Guatemalan Honey Monster cereals, or the borrowed duffel ready to burst with Haribo gummi Smurfs and Jägerschnitzel mix from Deutschland.

2. I have a tendency to collect food. I mean to eat it. Really. But I want the occasion to be perfect, shared with close friends who will fully appreciate the rare and hilarious qualities of the food I've brought at ridiculous spacial expense (hey, backpacks are small) from thousands of miles away. For whatever reason, these moments do not spring up nearly as spontaneously as necessary to keep up with the supply of weird food in my cupboard.

3. Three years ago, amid a rare cupboard reorganization campaign, roommate/photographer Amy hijacked a couple boxes of my foodstuffs. Mesmerized by the bizarre array, she took them to the studio to photograph. Nothing came of the photographic venture save some laughs, though she did send me this image of some of the raw files:

4. I realized that at least half of that food is still in my cupboard.

5. In an effort to be economical, especially since I don't intend to be in Los Angeles for many many more moons, I have decided to make myself eat my copious foreign and otherwise curious food supply. This has meant that in the past week, I have dined on the following:

- gingerbread waffles (delicious. 1 year old)

- Thai garlic noodles, sauteed (llgugll. 8 years old. 8!)

- curry udon (2 years old. I have 3 more packs)

- baba ghanoush (1.5 years old)

- carrot ginger soup (from Erin's aged cupboard, prior to her move)

Up next: the blackcurrent jelly (that's Irish for gelatin) that I bought in Ireland 5 years ago. And if you've any interest in some Guatemalan hot chocolate (made from a giant cinnamon-y chocolate tablet), just come on over.