Friday, September 10, 2010

if looks could kill

On page 76 of Jude Deveraux's A Knight in Shining Armor, you will read this gem of a thought from the story's protagonist:

As she looked in the mirror, she thought that if all women had to confront the world with the face God gave them, there would be a great increase in female suicides.

With the growing gender demographic imbalance in China and all that it portends for a global surplus of men and a shortage of women to marry, it's good to know that Cover Girl and Revlon are doing their part to keep so many ladies away from the precipice of death. Um, better to love the face God gave you than wind up like this:

Thursday, September 9, 2010


Things people would never think to tell you but that you should nevertheless know about DC/VA/the eastern seaboard before you'd consider trading in your life in CA:

1. Chesapeake Bay is not the Pacific Ocean. And forget nightswimming anywhere, because all the "beaches" I can find close at dusk, or 5:30pm, whichever comes first. With all due respect for the town of North Beach, MD, you have the worst excuse for a beach I have ever ever seen. 30 yards of roped off slimy waters that never come higher than my hipbones, a rank odor, and jellyfish to boot. And I paid $8 for the privilege. Note Em's face below - though it was in specific response to the Wash Pot Style Fat Back Hard Cracklins, I think it encapsulates the way North Beach made us feel inside.

2. The sound you hear outside is cicadas. The drone is constant in the summer. No, it is not bats, like the Motel 6 front desk lady in Mississippi suspected. It is also not the powerlines like the guy at the buffet thought. It's cicadas. These are cicadas:

3. Donuts are as rare as good Mexican food, or Pinkberry. Yes, Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Kreme are available, but the donuts there are pretty bad. The reality of a mom 'n pop donut shop on every street corner in LA is but a dream here. Efforts to satisfy my withdrawals in NY this weekend were met with dismal results: the Doughtnut Plant was closed for employee-vacation-week (suck it), two other normal donut places were incorrectly addressed in Urban Spoon, and the donut I did wind up finding in some tiny deli en route to our DC-bound bus was easily the driest, crappiest donut I've ever, ever eaten. So: SMC and I found a family-owned donut place at the southern edge of Alexandria, 10 miles from my house (let me remind you that this is like traveling to Hollywood from West LA in 5:45pm traffic just for this trivial pleasure). We drove there this afternoon and ran - yes, ran - inside, only to find that all of their deliciously-labeled donut bins were empty. They make donuts but once a day, and all the donuts save three were gone. We bought those three. We'll be returning next Tuesday morning when the doors open.
[enjoying WenDy's Donuts after a night swim. sigh.]

4. The Metro here costs $6ish/day to get to and from school. And people drive idiotically. That said, at least I can read on the bus, and as I walk to school. I have been pumping through books, which keeps me happy (the book list is about the only thing I'm managing to update regularly here).

the trees are beautiful, the frozen custard is good, and law school is interesting, so all is well enough. No regrets.