Saturday, January 19, 2008

Dr. Virtue and her Prophetic Mythical Creatures

I was in Santa Cruz a couple weeks ago with Debra (more on Monterey adventures soon), and we popped into a earthy spiritual candle-y world goods store for a moment of relief from the pouring rain.

Imagine my shock and awed delight when I stumbled upon these:

I have been feeling a little lost lately; perhaps these unicorns had some answers for me? Or, I found the whole concept of "magical unicorn oracle" cards so fascinating and ridiculous that I could not help but buy them. The cashier, however, was not amused with my amusement.

We rushed to the car and opened the pack. Before learning my destiny, I glanced at the guidebook. From the back:

Unicorns have the purest energy in the elemental kingdom, which consists of magical beings such as fairies, mermaids, and leprechauns. This purity is one reason why children love and trust them. This card deck is written in an easy-to-read language so that those who are young at heart and pure of intention can connect with the magical unicorns' guidance and help. Many of the 44 cards have words and beautiful paintings that were suggested by young Crystal and Indigo Children, making their positive messages even more magical!

Inside, a bit of clarification: All the cards have positive messages that you can trust, because the unicorns want to help you feel happy, safe, and loved. They also want your wishes to come true. (oh, good. these are not evil, menacing unicorn oracles) Unicorns are angelic helpers who want to assist us in living happier and healthier lives. Just think, Unicorns, please help me with this! and they will work with the rest of Heaven to assist and guide you. By working with these cards, your life will become even more magical. The unicorns hope that you enjoy working with them!

and so I thought aloud, Unicorns, help me! and drew this card:
And indeed, a good laugh is what I got. Here are some of my favorites:



These unicorns sure like cats. But I guess dolphins and killer whales are also friendly with these magical beasts - and now that I think of it, I know Lisa Frank would definitely agree.



Thank you, unicorns. Thank you.

If anyone's interested in their own personal reading, let me know.

7 comments:

johnny said...

i'd like a personal reading asap.

furthermore, i feel that:

if your magical unicorns = Y
and my panda express fortunes = F

then Y + F = 100

$ara said...

Can I blow the Feelings card up to a 4x3' poster? I think it needs to be in my hallway.

Maxine Parrish said...

Our favorite by far was "Love - your parents love you as much as they can." As much as they can?!

Inspired. Truly.

The Mulleneaux Family said...

Hey, I would love a reading! lol. That is so cool. They are beautiful cards too!!! Hope you have a great night!! Hope all is going well. I am here if you ever need to chat!!
Tara

Goatmaster.K said...

I heart the "Try Something New" one the best. It is good to know I too can be Shamu if I just try.

I think my mom would dig the scary cat and unicorn combos.

Last week I indeed received a Panda Express reading that said, "Any doubts you may have will disappear early this month." Your unicorns make all doubt disappear and my fortune come true!

Dave said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave said...

Lame to post a link, but it's relevant:

http://commanderfun.com